we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize