She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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