I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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