Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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