You just made me feel so damn special
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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