for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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