Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
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could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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