happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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