Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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