I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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