i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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