You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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