I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There's always time for handjobs
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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