Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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