that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize