That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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