Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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