a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize