Whod you bang
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize