i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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