my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize