um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I party with great urgency now.
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