i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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