Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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