you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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