didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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