Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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