Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she smelled like a LAN party
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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