I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i've created a new STD.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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