saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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