dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize