I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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