Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just tell him i said nine months
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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