Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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