See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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