the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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