so that wasnt chicken after all
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize