She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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