you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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