i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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