where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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