at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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