Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You ruined the universe
Randomize