shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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