she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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