I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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