Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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