dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
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I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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