i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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