I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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